Ginger Meth Lab

Drano, brake fluid, and iodine were mixed.
The gingerbread boyz all working hard and transfixed.

by Shay Neary and Lora Wiley - Photo Icarus Blake

A Gingerbread Meth Lab Somewhere in Brooklyn

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the lab,

many creatures were stirring, except those stuck in rehab.

Toxic substances were mixed up with care,

in hopes that a dealer would soon be there.

Exhibit #721: Meth Paraphernalia and Chair Found on Roof

My boyz separated Ephedrine from Sudapheds,

while visions of dollar signs danced in their heads.

Nodding off in my backwards cap,

I was settling in for a long ginger nap.

Exhibit #321: Large Bullet Hole on Left Wall

The crib was shaking, as gangsta music blared.

Lulled deeper to sleep, I ignored the blunt in my hand as it flared.

Drano, brake fluid, and iodine were mixed.

The gingerbread boyz all working hard and transfixed.

Exhibit #278: Mezzanine Meth Cooking Paraphernalia

Everything was going according to plan.

Oh shit, we forgot the red phosphorus, man!

Quick, get some matches and scrape that red shit off.

Suddenly, through their masks, they began to cough.

Exhibit #561: Dead Bread Body

I awoke as the smoke was filling the place.

It looked like an experiment from outer space.

My blunt had set off an unimaginable disaster.

It ignited the matches and was becoming a blaster.

Exhibit #329: Meth Lab Arial View (Police Chopper)

Green fog was everywhere. It was too thick to see through.

I thought it was a dream until I felt the crystals crunch under my shoe.

The house became alive as it heaved and rolled.

Wait! Save the meth, cause it’s already been sold!

Exhibit #721: Suspicious Graffiti on South Wall (Gang Related?)

Suddenly, the roof shaking became so acute.

I was hoping it was that fat guy in his red suit.

Next thing I knew, I was sailing through the air.

At the shriek of sirens, I started to swear.

Exhibit #104: Downed Tree and Dough

As the debris settled around me, to my wondering eyes did appear:

gingerbread men scattered about, sans their gear.

They were in the trees and stuck to walls,

but I was busy looking around for my balls.

Exhibit #678: Burnt Body in Front Yard. Missing Limbs.

This effing nightmare before Christmas really does suck.

As far as holiday spirit, now I really don’t give a fuck.

I’ll be spending the holidays locked up in jail.

Way to go asshole – big holiday FAIL!


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