Eat

The Most Horrifying Fast Food Menu Items Of 2014

Tthere’s nothing funny about the fast food nightmares this year brought.

1. Burger King Japan’s Black Cheese Burger

 Photo ©  Burger King Japan

Photo © Burger King Japan

Go on, sink your teeth into a black cheese burger. You needn’t add a thing — it’s loaded with black ketchup, too.

Doesn’t that feel good? Now the color of your mouth indicates that you’ve been eating a bowl of tar for lunch, and you will be judged as such until the end of time. There has never been any reason to eat food blackened with squid ink and bamboo charcoal, but for some reason this is not the first time BK Japan fiddled with the production of a black burger.

2. Taco Bell’s Waffle Taco

  Taco Bell Taco Bell Photo © Andy Campbell/The Huffington Post

Taco Bell
Taco Bell Photo © Andy Campbell/The Huffington Post

No one should be eating breakfast at Taco Bell, but this year the company released a breakfast menu anyway. This makes my blood boil.

Most disturbing on the menu is the Waffle Taco, which consists of sausage and eggs folded into a soft waffle, topped with maple syrup.

If you eat a Taco Bell Waffle Taco for breakfast, your day is destined to feel similar to a flaccid, defrosted waffle oozing with unidentifiable meat products. Don’t do that to yourself. You deserve better.

3. KFC’s Chicken Corsage

 Photo ©  KFC

Photo © KFC

This may be the most sickening thing to happen to prom since Carrie left the gym covered in pig’s blood. Each KFC corsage kit comes with a $5 KFC gift card, which customers are meant to bring to their local KFC and cash in for the chicken of their choosing. No one should ever experience the smell combination of crispy fried chicken and baby’s breath.

4. Dunkin’ Donuts Eggs Benedict Breakfast Sandwich

 Photo ©  Dunkin' Donuts

Photo © Dunkin’ Donuts

Do you know what puts the Benedict in Eggs Benedict? Hollandaise sauce. Do you know what hollandaise sauce is? A mixture of egg yolks and clarified butter. It should be light and a little runny.

Dunkin’ themselves knew they weren’t going to be able master this, so they whipped up a sauce with a cream cheese consistency. DD’s Executive Chef Stan Frankenthaler said he made this choice because, “Our employees are used to putting cream cheese on bagels very quickly, so this is no different.” Frauds.

5. Burger King’s Yumbo Breakfast Sandwich

 Photo © Burger King Worldwide, Inc.

Photo © Burger King Worldwide, Inc.

In 1974, the “Yumbo” was retired from Burger King’s menu. For some inexplicable reason, the chain decided to bring back the sandwich in December of this year. Deli meat is gross enough as it is, but now you can get a HOT HAM SANDWICH with AMERICAN CHEESE and MAYO from the BURGER JOINT. Yumbo should have been kept inside the vault… forever.

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