POV

BiSickle Hill

Blood and booze run through the gutters with smoke of every variety billowing from the pierced lips of tattooed, dreadlocked maniacs.

Story by By Teo J. Babini - teo@citizenbrooklyn.com Photos by Icarus Blake Video by Max Power

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Brooklyn, New York. 2012. The city has been plunged into a pre-apocalyptic nightmare with monsters of every variety roaming the sidewalks in drunken gluttonous revelry and urban survivalists supply hording, and fortifying for the great storm. But the mutant bike gangs rule the streets, gathering in the dead-end thunderdome to engage in their gory gladiatorial games. Blood and booze run through the gutters with smoke of every variety billowing from the pierced lips of tattooed, dreadlocked maniacs. The freakish riders relish in the chaos of tripping each other and falling from their DIY steampunkcycles, while DJ’s spin a dance with the devil. Cops watch helplessly as the carnage rolls by.

Beer Chug Blood Bath Photo ©Icaurs Blake

Surfcycle USA Photo ©Icaurs Blake

Dance with the Devil Photo ©Icaurs Blake

The Ski Mask Way Photo ©Icaurs Blake

The ringleader of this secret circus: a Hasid with sleeves hidden underneath his sleeves. The first bone crushing event was the “beer chug blood bath” where battlers tested their balance by drinking an Edward Forty Hands rigged six-pack as fast as possible while riding in a circle with the crowd hurling menstrual soaked mattress chunks at them. The second devastating event, the pussy pole vault, has bikers tie a rope from a pole to their bike and pedal full speed toward a giant all enveloping nani, flying directly into its labia. The third show of skill is the “surfcycle USA” in which contestants attach boards to their rides while daredevils surf atop them in the shadow of the stars and stripes that waves above.

Long Live the Black Label Bicycle Club! Photo ©Icaurs Blake

Longcycle Photo ©Icaurs Blake

Roll Cage Photo ©Icaurs Blake

Three Wheels Vs. Two Photo ©Icaurs Blake

 

The fourth and final foray into this dystopian celebration, the official “Bike Kill joust”, need not be explained. The first couple sissies illustrate how not to impress the crowd, while the reigning champ shows us how it’s done in round two leveling his opponent. In the final round, a female contestant know as Figa Di Dio (Pussy of God) catches the stick in the jaw splitting her face down to the bone. She gets up and wipes her chin with dirty hands, unfazed by her injuries… She even makes it to the afterlife party. The only guideline in this layer of hell is this: Bring your bike, not your camera. Black Label rules!

2 Responses to “BiSickle Hill”

  1. DIRTYFINGER says:

    BEST DAY OF THE YEAR, long live the BLBC.

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