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Rant #1: Fuck That

When you put a couple of half asses together, you just get one ugly ass.

Story by Thor Benson - thorbenson@gmail.com Illustration by Alexsey Kashtelyan Photos by Muge Karamanci
Illustration  © Alexsey Kashtelyan

Illustration © Alexsey Kashtelyan

A limp dick curling against the thick outer layer of her vagina, that’s what he’s got. He’s running to the Home Depot trying to find something to fix his personality. It’s just a shitty fence and some fresh manure for the garden before they’ll start looking at the kitchen knives a little differently. They’ll go to the cape to blow off some steam, but they’ll find themselves more frustrated than when they left.

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Photo © Muge Karamanci

A couple of mongoloid kids that will live with them into their thirties are what they’ll have. A couple of kids that follow the formula like they never did and accomplish half as much. I bet they love the minivan. I bet there’s a speed dial for the guy who can actually get her to feel some satisfaction.

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Photo © Muge Karamanci

It’s raining outside and they’re glad they have an excuse not to face the world. They’re a couple of shut-ins ever since they realized that they didn’t contribute a fucking thing out there. When you put a couple of half asses together, you just get one ugly ass. I bet they’ve got a regular, a tradition and a running theme that they’re god damn sick of by now. I would stay late at work too, if all I had to look forward to was wiping drool off of my son’s chin.

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Photo © Muge Karamanci

I bet they think they’re interesting. I bet they think they’re interesting because they’ve been to Europe and the neighbors haven’t. I bet they think they’re interesting because they went on a cruise to Central America and the neighbors didn’t. I bet the assholes at the surfboard rental shop didn’t think they were too fucking interesting.

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Photo © Muge Karamanci

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