Eat

Cronot Show-Not

Avoid the cronut… And go have a FUCKING DOUGHNUT!

Story by Shay Neary - imshaybutta@gmail.com Photos by Muge Karamanci
Photo © Muge Karamanci

Pecan butter crunch, from Pies n’ Thighs Photo © Muge Karamanci

Lets talk doughnuts… I mean cronuts… Cronuts? Doughnuts made of Croissants…. Fucking cronuts… I HATE CRONUTS! What is up with the god damn fascination with this fried treat! Let’s forget the fact that people wait in line for hours to get a taste of the much-sought-after pastry. Let’s forget the fact that the five dollar cronut is so trendy that the bakery limits your purchases to two per customer. Let’s forget the fact that craigslist has been pawning these pastries at a whopping twenty to forty dollars apiece!!! Cronut creator Dominique Ansel, owner of Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York City, has had to defend himself against all the cronut copycats and haters out there. Since the sweet treat was unveiled in May, there has been literally dozens of cronut-like pastries invented, but I am not buying! I had one, that’s it… Just for taste, of course.

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Blueberry doughnut from Dun Well Doughnuts Photo © Muge Karamanci

What’s disgusting about these delicious treats is that they are just that.. Fucking delicious… Ugh, it even depresses me to think about the masses of them that I would like to eat. But alas, they are toooooooo expensive! They are not worth these insane prices, lines, and drama just to get the most recent pastry fad. I find that there are better choices than this wanna-be French fat-filled food. If I want fatty French food, I want fucking French fries with cheese and gravy. Make me cronut with that inside DOMINIQUE ANSEL! YOU POMPUS PANSY! He makes me angry, if you haven’t noticed. I just find it absurd that this trend has lasted this long… and that people really are black market selling them online… INSANITY!

Photo © Muge Karamanci

The Hibiscus from Dough Photo © Muge Karamanci

If you want a fucking doughnut… I’ll let you know about doughnuts. I have some great places to go to and it won’t cost you your first born child to eat them. :3 Unfortunately not all items are available all year round, but I can honestly say anything they sell is self-indulging. 🙂

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Blueberry doughnut from Dun Well Doughnuts Photo © Muge Karamanci

Dun-Well Doughnuts: The Elvis Presley and The Blueberry
222 Montrose Ave. (between Bushwick Ave. & Humboldt St.)
Brooklyn, NY 11206

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Peanut butter and strawberry jelly from Doughnut Planet Photo © Muge Karamanci

Dough: The Hibiscus and The Cheesecake Graham
305 Franklin Ave.
Brooklyn, NY 11205

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Crème brûlée from Doughnut Plane Photo © Muge Karamanci

Doughnut Plant: The Peanut Butter Glazed Blackberry Jelly and The Crème Brulee
220 W 23rd St. (between 7th Ave. & 8th Ave.)
New York, NY 10011

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Pecan butter crunch from Pies n Thighs Photo © Muge Karamanci

Pies and Thighs: The Lemon Curd Filled Pistachio and The Pecan Doughnut
166 S 4th St. (between Bedford Ave. & Driggs Ave.)
Brooklyn, NY 11211

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Blueberry from Dun Well Doughnut & Cherry chocolate cake Dun Well Doughnut Photo © Muge Karamanci

Holey Cream: The Doughnut Ice Cream Sandwich (They make their own ice cream)
796 9th Ave. (between 52nd St. & 53rd St.)
New York, NY 10019
I’m telling you… you will not regret my advice. Avoid the cronut… And go have a FUCKING DOUGHNUT! KISSES! XOXO

Photo © Muge Karamanci

Cherry chocolate cake from Dun Well DoughnutPhoto © Muge Karamanci

One Response to “Cronot Show-Not”

  1. ebru says:

    Love the photos-fun and witty. Thanks Müge.