Dippin’ Eggs

The sun dress she was wearing was very, very short and equally, very, very tight.

Story and photos by Myron Ropp

‘’Oh yes Missy. I know exactly what you mean’.

Photo © Myron Ropp

Photo © Myron Ropp

Of all the lousy places to break down. He had heard of this place. Talk was … they practiced voodoo. He did not believe that stuff. It was all mumbo jumbo and tales. And John Ed Baker knew tales. A failure in just about everything he tried, what John Ed was good at was lying. He got out of all his traffic violations. Excuses to his folks why he had got fired from all his previous jobs. You name it. He lied about everything. Approaching the house down the long tree covered lane was a little creepy. But for goodness sakes. It was daylight. Nothing happens in the day. He had heard the stories about these people.

Photo © Myron Ropp

Photo © Myron Ropp

The old man. The granddaughter. Word had it that they even had a couple of old guys tend to the house. Servants if you will. All voodooed up in some kind of zombie like state. He didn’t believe that crap. That was exactly what he was thinking about as he passed into the clearing. He saw them in the back of the ole run down house. Tending to a garden. Hoe and rake. They looked up as he walked to the door. Creepy dudes. Eyes all white and cloudy. Clothes of rags and filthy dirty. Must have some kind of illness John Ed thought. He knocked on the door. Who appeared was perhaps the most beautiful young woman that John Ed had ever seen. Long, auburn hair. Eyes so green they looked almost liquid. The sun dress she was wearing was very very short and equally, very very tight. John Ed knew he would say anything to impress this one.
‘Good morning, my name is John Ed Baker and my Corvette broke down just up the road. My cell phone has died as well. I was wondering if may use your telephone’? (Corvette/Phone…lies)

Photo © Myron Ropp

Photo © Myron Ropp

‘Well John Ed, ain’t you just a cutie. You come on in and lets see if we can’t satisfy that little ole problem. Like my dress? Oh, please call me Missy’.
‘Thank you Missy. I most certainly appreciate it’. Walking behind her as he entered the house, John Ed thought ‘Don’t say anything stupid’.
‘John Ed, we was just fixin’ to sit down to eat. Pops always likes his eggs dippin’. ‘Ya know? Where he can dip his toast into that yellow yoke. You know how to fix dippin’ eggs John Ed’?

At this point, John Ed would have said he was an Iron Chef finalist. Truth was, He struggled with toast and Kool-Aid’.
‘Oh Yes Missy. I know exactly what you mean. That is how I prefer mine, and I never bust the yoke’.
‘Oh John Ed. How wonderful. Sit down right there and have some coffee with Pops’. He had not noticed the old man sitting at the table. He nodded to the old man as he was sitting but he did not seem to acknowledge him. When the ole guy looked up, it startled John Ed. Same blank expression. Same cloudy white eyes. Like he was in some short of spaced out la la land and not quite alert.
Sitting a coffee mug in front of him, Missy patted John Ed’s hand
‘Drink up John Ed. You gonna love my coffee’. Thinking to himself … it could be bayou mud, and I would still drink it. Anything for Missy.

Photo © Myron Ropp

Photo © Myron Ropp

John Ed stood at the kitchen stove with his back to Missy and her Grandfather.
‘Now John Ed, you be careful turning them eggs over, you know Pops hasn’t been real impressed with your cookin’ skills. He likes ’em dippin’ John Ed. Dippin’ !!
When John Ed turned to face Missy, with his blank stare and cloudy eyes, he wanted to say ‘Yes Missy’… but he just came out with slurs and garbled words.

Oh John Ed … if there was ever a time you should have told the truth, it should have been with the words ‘No Missy, I am not familiar with dippin’ eggs’.

6 Responses to “Dippin’ Eggs”

  1. Mary Miguez says:

    I do believe Mr. Myron that you are the best thing that ever came out of the south!

  2. Pamela Harless says:

    How wonderful! I really enjoyed this!

    • Myron says:

      Thanks so much Pam. So glad you did. Appreciate you taking the time and letting me know. (Smile)

  3. Sis says:

    I think you are amazing … multi-talented … and gifted!