Three-Way Intersection

I tried to pay attention to traffic, but watching a beautiful porcelain ass bobbing in the back of my car was severely distracting.

Story by Thor Benson - thorbenson@gmail.com Illustrations by Alexsey Kashtelyan
Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

I was waiting at the mechanic’s, sitting in their lackluster lobby, and I was trying to find a magazine that didn’t have to do with cars. My boss had sent me to the mechanic to get the limo’s brakes fixed, because he said he didn’t like the squeaking noise they were making. I hadn’t particularly noticed it, but he was a neurotic, old slob of a man who had to have things his way.

All the magazines in the mechanic’s office looked as if they were freebies that had been sent there. They had auto parts magazines, tire magazines and Car & Driver. I picked up the Car & Driver and perused the latest vehicles that were on their way, until I realized the issue was from 2010.

After about an hour and a half they told me the limo was ready to go, which gave me about forty-five minutes to go pick up my only client for the day. They were being picked up at the airport, which was only about twenty minutes away, so I had some time to kill. I decided to stop at a convenient store on the way to pick up a snack and smoke a cigarette. It took me about five minutes to find a parking spot big enough for the limo, and I walked over to the convenient store. As I entered, it became evident that the clerk and his boss were having an argument and they didn’t even notice me come in.

“Why can’t you just check the identification? What is the problem?” the boss yelled.
“He looked like forty, he was balding and he had grey hair.”
“I don’t care, I do not care. That is a big fine if… You know my father was bald by the time he was twenty-five, and he had white hair, white as a pig’s dick.”
“Wha—Ok, well, fine, I’ll check everyone. I’ll even check people with canes and walkers.”

Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

(3 Way Intersection) Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

“Oh please, don’t be ridiculous, now you are being ridiculous.”
“What do you want from me!?”

I approached the counter with a disgusting refrigerated burrito and a beer. I wasn’t supposed to drink on the job, considering I was a driver, but I had to have something. One beer never killed anyone. I looked at the manager, and then to the clerk, and I nodded at them as if I hadn’t been listening in.

“Can I see your ID sir?” the clerk asked.
“Really? You need to see my ID? I’m twenty-eight for god’s sake,” I said.
“I’m sorry, I have to check everyone’s—“
“No, no, he is ok, I have seen him before,” the boss said.
“Are you kid— Ok, whatever, it’s going to be five seventy-five.”

I looked to the boss and he nodded his head at me in some kind of understanding. I paid for my items and took a seat at a bench outside to suck down my beer and swallow the burrito while I still had time. I immediately regretted eating the burrito, but the beer cut the merciless discomfort a bit. I smoked half a cigarette and put the remainder back in the pack.

I got back into my limo feeling akin to someone who had just swallowed a firecracker and I set out for the airport, still ahead of schedule. I put on my driving cap as the sun beat through the window like the sounds of a siren pierce a thin plaster wall. I would have to keep my hat on for the night, because my boss made me wear it when I was with clients, even though the sun would be resting shortly.

Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

Driving Cap Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

I arrived at the airport and left the limo in the pick-up lane. I brought my sign reading “BERTRAND” and stood in line with my fellow road pilots. Some of the other drivers began conversing and making small talk as they often will; many of them knew each other, but I stood silent waiting for my clients. I didn’t particularly like most of the other drivers I had met, and they saw it as a career while I saw it as a temporary job. Your typical driver in my town was a perverted, drug addicted, lazy piece-of-shit. They would place bets on who would find their clients first, and who got the hottest women in their car. They would point at the women to the other drivers while walking behind them, as if to confirm their shallow victory.

I watched as a beautiful strawberry-blonde girl, something of a long haired Marilyn Monroe with a silk white dress and all, picked up a small rolling bag from the conveyor belt and approached me. For some reason, she swung the rolling luggage over her shoulder and held it there, incidentally making the black power sign to grip the handle. She had a gaudy, over-sized white purse in the other hand.

“Hey, that’s my last name!” she said.
“Oh is it?” I replied.
“Sure is, but I’m waiting for my husband. Would you be a dear and hold this awful bag?”
“But of course.”
“He’s quite slow, he just had to bring two bags; he packs like a woman,” she said, shooting a brief smile in my direction.
“No rush, where am I taking you folks exactly? I have an address, but…”
“Oh, we’re going to a little party first, it will be a long night, I hope you have a book to read, dear.”
“I’m sure I’ll entertain myself.”

Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

(We want you to watch) Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

She gave me a raised eyebrow and opened her mouth as if she was about to go for my pants zipper. Her husband arrived, and she threw her arms around him as if she hadn’t seen him since he left for the war. He was equally well dressed, wearing a fine cut suit. He shook my hand firmly, and we took their bags to the car. I felt as if I was driving for the President and the first lady.

I let them into the limo and took my place in the driver’s seat. I set my GPS for their desired location and we got on the road. Right away they were chatting and laughing together, really a beautiful couple, but they didn’t seem quite real. They seemed as if they were out of an old Hollywood picture. I imagined that they secretly hated each other and just wanted to put on a magnificent show.

Early into the journey, I noticed in my rear-view that she was starting to get pretty affectionate with him. Her hands were resting on his lap, and she talked to him only inches from his ear. Eventually, I noticed her look at me as I pretended not to notice, and then she put one of her hands down his pants. She smiled like a villain, and his eyes glazed over like a schoolgirl who was preparing to faint. I began to roll up the window that separated the driver from the clients, not at all surprised by what was happening. Just as the window was reaching its seal I heard a complaint from the back.

“Hey, what are you doing!?” the woman yelled.
“What— what do you mean?” I replied.
“Don’t roll the window up, we want you to watch, is that okay?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, I’m serious; I’ve never been more serious.”
“I’ll leave the window down if I must, but I’m not going to watch; I’m driving.”
“Well, drive safe, but we’ll see if you don’t watch…”

She smiled, having won her battle, and went back to her task. I couldn’t help but watch as she unzipped his fly and pulled out his dick. She began to fellate him, and he acted as if it was a regular occurrence. When he began to show a facial response to her, she pulled her head away with her hair cascading above his lap like the cape of a matador.

Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

A poisonous moment Photo © Alexsey Kashtelyan

Unbeknownst to me, she wasn’t wearing panties, and I watched as she hiked up her dress and mounted him. I tried to pay attention to traffic, but watching a beautiful porcelain ass bobbing in the back of my car was severely distracting.
“I think he likes us…” she said.
He said nothing.

The first noises I heard from him the whole time were moans, and she howled like a dog caught in barbed wire. I watched my own eyes in the rearview mirror as I darted them between the road and the happening of my back seat, narrowly avoiding hitting a parked car. She reached her hands behind herself, coddling between the legs of his slacks.
“If you pull over I might let you join…” she said, turning her head around with a wink.

I swerved into the oncoming traffic lane and back into my own to avoid a daring pedestrian in the road. I could feel myself getting turned on, and I shifted in my seat. I briefly considered pleasuring myself as I drove, but I realized how desperate that seemed. I tried to restrain myself, took off my hat, and I looked back and saw the girl putting her tongue in her husband’s ear. I was sweating, god damn it. She took full advantage of the tinted windows, and she lowered the top of her dress and bared her breasts as she continued to gyrate. I heard her let out the loudest cry of joy yet, and my eyes fixated on her in the mirror.

I lost all train of thought at that moment, and as we passed our turn I slammed on the brakes to make a quick correction. The limo swayed into a drift, and the brakes failed me. Time slowed to a crawl, and I watched as we rapidly approached a building wall, narrowly avoiding a passing vehicle. Suddenly, all I could focus on was the swiftly growing size of the bricks in the wall, and I momentarily released the steering wheel.

The next thing I remember was stumbling out of my driver seat and squinting at the wreckage. There seemed to be a dark crimson splatter across the ruffled hood of my limo, and I believed for an instant that we had slaughtered a pedestrian. There was no other evidence to support this. I put my hands over my eyes and I tried to teleport into a new place, anywhere else. What I heard next was the back door of my limo opening, and I watched in the new night as a figure made its way around the back of the car, slowly towards me. It was the man, and his dick was still hanging out of his fly.
“Where are we?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said.

As the sirens roared towards us I picked up a piece of red glass, which had the texture of molasses. There was a blonde hair hanging from the glass, and I looked to the moon for solace. The man pushed himself back into his pants fly and fell back against the car without a word. It was a poisonous moment, like injecting heroin with a used needle.

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